oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
