i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
