i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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