i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
