Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
