how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
