I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
