so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize