I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
