I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
this boner is exhausting
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
