please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
