He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
