We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
