I can tuck mytits in my pants
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
