Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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