I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize