I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he thought i was a dude.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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