u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
