He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
