That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
it hurts more in the daytime
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
