He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize