Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
