I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize