his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
