and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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