I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
