:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize