Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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