What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
