I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
