Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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