Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
