Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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