We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
