You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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