Ambien. No doubt about it.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
