Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
