I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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