You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
