Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
