drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My cat gives me a boner
and she was petting her beer can
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
