So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
