Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
