i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
is it fun? or sober?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
