I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize