Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
someone owes me an orgasm
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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