is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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