Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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