i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize