yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
