Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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