I cannot find my penis.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My penis needs a shock collar
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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