As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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