Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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