Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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