omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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