then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
