there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
