So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
